


Gods among Men (and Fairytale Characters)

by OnceForeverXylo (orphan_account)



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Bickering, Bifrost, Dark One Rumplestiltskin | Mr. Gold, Epic, Food Fight, Gen, Humor, Marvel 616/MCU Crossover, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Pregnant Emma Swan, Reluctant Friendship, Sakaar (Marvel), Stan Lee Cameo, Storybrooke, accidental holiday, mention of Jane
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-04 04:25:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14012142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/OnceForeverXylo
Summary: Loki and Thor return to Midgard after Ragnarok, only to find themselves in a strange little town in eastern America... With a bunch of humans who call themselves names like Snow White, Robin Hood, The Evil Queen and Rumplestiltskin.They also profess to own objects which in the wrong hands could destroy the world.





	1. It begins with a thud

**Author's Note:**

> Only just getting into the Marvel Universe via the Thor Movies so it might not be as accurate or indeed as detailed as other fics in this universe. Also Marvel Characters might be a bit OOC Still I've had fun writing it so I hope you enjoy :)
> 
> The first chapter is kind of short because I just wanted to throw it up and get some feedback. Reviews therefore would be much appreciated.  
> Thanks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor lands in a mysterious town in the Eastern United States, and is again made a victim of electricity.

Falling, falling, falling, forever and ever... on and on through a pitiless void into yet more darkness. Once you had broken the crust of the blackness you were falling into a bottomless pit of it. And then once you’d reached the bottom of this pit there was just a little bit more ready to greet you because… bottomless pits…have no bottom. Duh  
It would have been overly dramatic to call it endless damnation but it was at least safe to say that things weren't going very well for Thor post Ragnarok. 

Things hadn’t been going well pre or during either mind but that wasn't the point. In the last 48 hours alone he and Loki had made it through the literal end of literally everything. This endeavour being made up of a number of sub-tasks, including but not limited to:  
Escaping a crumbling Asgard, saving all their people and salvaging their relationship, (if only a little. They were still siblings after all.)   
He thought he should at least be entitled to some cosmic sympathy. 

Thor wasn't even sure how it had happened. Not the whole adventure, that had happened because of his own heroism, might and general awesomeness.   
Obviously.  
That was the reason anything happened to him.  
No, he wasn’t sure why he was tumbling through space feeling the chill of time slipping past faster than a bar of soap on a skateboard. He was used to it via the Bifrost, but that had sparkly lights and was more like a galactic slip-n-slide. 

 

Probably the whole thing was Loki having one last joke before he disappeared. A further jab in the eye before he attempted to scramble to power once he reached Midgard. That was if he too was going. Possibly the bastard had escaped unscathed.  
It would be just like his brother to slip through the cracks or find a loophole and end up somewhere cushy with fawning women who were willing to feed him grapes and fan him with palm leaves.  
Thor was just considering the question of what sort of grapes he would like when it hit him. Something hard, more concrete than an answer.   
The ground. 

He met the warm, crumbly surface quickly and with a massive thud which, despite his strength and godly status hurt like hell.   
**  
Meanwhile, in her mansion Regina felt her ears prick up. The very hairs on the back of her neck stood to attention, and even though her fingers were wrapped around a cup of coffee she felt the rest of her turn cold. Something was going on!!  
**  
After the air had come rushing back into his lungs, the world came into view. So slowly it was like swimming through a deep pool of pain and blood. Then all at once it was there, too bright and too loud hurting his eyes. The midday sun felt a billion and one degrees. To block out the sun. Thor flung a hand over his face and meanwhile attempted to unglue his eyes after so long squeezing them shut and screaming.

 

Finally and with great effort he shifted, moving his limbs little by little until he could sit up.  
That's when he saw the dark haired woman. Clothed in a sharp suit standing before him she was positioned with her hands behind her. Only odd thing was that she didn’t say a word, but before our hero could start a conversation she produced a tiny box.  
With a click the small box spat sparks right at him, sending him into spasms and in the space of one prolonged yell he crashed onto his back, cracking his head damn hard on the concrete again.  
It was only out of the corner of his consciousness he heard the woman speak.

 

A shadow loomed over him as she neared. And a voice came from it.  
"Who... The Hell... Are you?"  
It was a voice like no other he'd ever heard, except coming from the mouth of his estranged sister. Something about that fact made him eager to retort.  
"I am Thor of Asgard. God of thunder" he replied from the ground, the back of his head warm with pain.

 

"Right… And I’m Regina Mills. Mayor.” she offered a hand, which he begrudgingly accepted. Other than that though she didn’t do anything to help. Almost as if she expected him to be ready to spring to his feet somehow.  
“You know ordinarily I'd think you were lying.” Regina continued as she watched him struggle “But since this town is crazy, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt."  
"It’s True!" Thor responded, clenching his fists letting his hands begin to sizzle with electricity. Once he was on his feet it was far easier to conjor his signature powers.   
Regina was again unimpressed however. Her mouth stayed fixed in a stern line "Okay, thunder boy… Why are you here?”

Instead of answer, all he could do was stare at the gadget, terrified that it might zap him again but when his dumbfounded expression went on for far too long the woman named the thing. “You'll excuse me for the taser. Precautionary measures are kind of important here. Safety and all that"  
"Where is here? Mid-Earth?" he corrected himself last minute, just in case the mortal thought he was crazy. They had a habit of doing that, even now when he (and the rest of the avengers) had saved them.  
"Storybrooke, Maine. But you've not answered my question. What are you doing here."  
Oh No… What to say now? How to explain what had happened? How to simplify the last 48 hours into something a mortal could comprehend? There was nothing else for it, he was going to have to state the obvious. Looking at the ground, then looking up at the vast blue vault above him he scratched the back of his head and answered  
"I uh... I fell... from the sky"  
Thor's response landed with a resounding thud. "Duh. I know.” Regina said “But it's usually helpful for me, as mayor, to know what a strangers plan is. Especially if they want to kill, maim, poison or abduct anyone"  
“I don't know what I'm doing.” He said. At least he was being honest “I just fell"  
"Mhm... So you didn't plan where you were going to land? You didn't even think about it."  
"No!"  
"Okay, sure" She was beginning to rummage around in her pocket again. Probably for that infernal taser device.   
"Okay Regina.” He managed to spit, before she could pull the thing out and electrocute him once more “If you want a quick run through of my last few days, here you go. I-watched-my-father-die, met-my-long-lost-sister, fought-and-then-rescued-my-best-friend-from-a-creepy-slime ball-grand master-type-person I was in a spaceship with Korg and my brother... then I fell out of the heavens."

Suddenly, in an alleyway not far away there was a massive crash, pieces of trash flew out of a dumpster just as someone fell in. They cursed as they landed amongst the tins, bottles and other pieces of trash that hadn't escaped, even sending something that looked like a flair into the air.  
"Rather like that, as it happens" The blonde hunk said with a smirk  
Regina looked at the spike of light which pierced the sky and sighed. "What now?" But she was gone before Thor could warn her about who might be behind the dreaded sky-beam. There was only one person who could have provided it. Probably.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Thor are brought back together in the mayor's mansion, Only for their usual sibling bickering to ensue. 
> 
> Meanwhile Henry (a devoted comic book fan) means to find out all he can about the Heroes.

Regina stormed across town, feeling the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end she added more and more force to every step. Like a cat arching its back she wanted to appear stronger than she was, just in case whatever was waiting in the alleyway was going to pose some sort of threat. 

This didn’t appear to be the case. Along with the pointy stick and the pillar of lightning, Two legs were protruding from the dumpster. Two skinny legs, wrapped in some silly leather pants.   
As she approached, Regina noticed how they began to shift, struggling to bend up to the full ninety degrees, instead flailing oddly at the feet and hips. When they had entirely disappeared from view. A voice rose up from beneath the trash. A voice low and dripping with malice.  
Whoever owned it definitely thought they had a position of power. And they probably did. But they would have been much scarier if it hadn’t been coming from a massive bin. 

“Help me mortal” it said “or I swear I will make you pay”  
“Oh yeah how exactly?” Regina sassed back, hands on hips as per her usual style “with cans and empty soda bottles? Ooh I’m really scared”  
“Just help me!” came another grunt “I won’t stand another jot of humiliation.”  
Not likely, Regina thought how do I know he’s not just a poor guy down on his luck doing some dumpster diving? Although how such a situation would occur she couldn’t at that time conceive. “Why should I?” she said, voicing her doubt.  
What came next was nothing like she would have expected “Because I’m a god-”   
While it could have sounded sarcastic, he seemed one hundred percent convinced, and ergo one hundred percent crazy.   
“Excuse me?”   
“A God” The man said simply. Merely repeating himself so that he could be heard, as if miss hearing was the issue.   
It wasn’t of course.  
“Pssh of what? Trash? Public Utilities? Recycling?”  
“Mischief,” he said again. Equally as seriously “I am the god of mischief. Now help!”  
“Nuh uh. Not without the magic word, Oscar” Regina slipped the last word in like a knife between the ribs. Although if he really was some kind of deity he wouldn’t get the reference anyway. Not even to an the famous 1980s TV Show character.  
Luckily for her he didn’t “My name is Loki!”  
“I don’t care.” Regina responded, and she didn’t “I’m waiting”   
“I’ve answered all your questions, what more do you want?”  
“Just a little word, just one-”  
“PLEASE!!! PLEASE HELP MORTAL! AND STOP VEXING ME!”   
“That was all you needed to say.” 

“Well... “ he said as he clambered out of the metal box, brushing off crumbs and smearing some strange yellow goop down his pants, which had a less than savoury smell “at least my arrogant big brother isn’t here.”   
Something hit Regina like a lightning bolt “Does your brother happen to be a blonde guy? With sparkly hands?”   
“Yes.” Loki said, looking noticeably calmer than he had been. “Although he doesn’t particularly enjoy being called ‘sparkly.’”  
“Then I know exactly where he is.”  
“Where?” Loki asked biting back too much concern “Hospital? A prison? Dead?”  
“No… Over there”   
She pointed now to a human shaped lump, who’d gone back to sit on the road. Not knowing where else to go. 

“Ah Brother!” Loki shouted across, just as soon as he caught sight of his sibling “For the god of thunder you seem woefully incapable of withstanding electricity," Loki sneered, now standing over him, watching the last few pulses rush through. the last couple of twitches sending his body into an uncoordinated dance of flapping arms and legs.

 

"Okay" Thor retorted, only once the fizzle had stopped "Next time I'll ask them to shoot a taser at you. See how you like it. You weren't so great yourself back on Sakaar. In fact I seem to remember it was only the assistance of a pile of sentient rock that stopped your brain from frying."  
“Boys.” Regina said, sounding more like a mother than they would have liked to admit “Can we have this conversation somewhere else?”

**  
Regina’s somewhere else turned out to be a large house, pearly white as her teeth. She lead the two brothers through the doors and instantly they were engulfed in its majesty. Thor thought, with a few   
“bathrooms that way,” Regina said, pointing to a door off in the corner. 

The brothers obviously didn’t need it because they continued to follow along, trotting behind her like lost puppies. When they got to the kitchen however they flung themselves down on the stools around the island reclaiming their place on earth as gods. 

"Tea!" Regina roared. The brothers jumped as she placed two steaming hot mugs on the table with some force.   
"I don’t drink tea..." Thor objected, looking at the quaint porcelain cups with eyes full of hate.  
"And apple turnovers" Regina put two plates next to the drinks with a clink.

“Thank you Regina” Loki said with all the slime he could muster as he got up. GODS he was sickening sometimes. 

As his brother schmoozed with the Host, Thor cast an eye over the food. Pushing the china across the table he looked at his pastry suspiciously. Finally he lifted it up from the corner and sniffed it as if a noxious odour would give away any toxic ingredients contained within it. He’d been tricked one too many times to accept anything without at least testing it first.   
Meanwhile in return his brother eyed him, waiting for him to find it edible... Or poisonous before he would take a bite himself.

"It's fine" came a voice from the doorway before Thor could wrap his mouth around the desert "she's only put poison in them once and that was for my other Mom.  
It's a long story. Wait a sec, who are you?"  
"Henry" Regina butted in before the guests could go on with one of their monologues "This is Thor, and Loki. Gods of... wherever"  
"So... You guys are real? You actually exist? Like, you, the Valkyries. The rest of the Avengers? Iron man? Captain America? Hawk-eye?"  
"Why wouldn't we?" Thor said, around a mouth full of desert. Sending cream oozing around his mouth and flying over the table.


End file.
